Welcome to menopause, BABY!

Top 10 ways menopause is like being a young child.

1. Just like a toddler, I have pudgy arms and legs, rolls of fat and skin on my trunk, and multiple chins. (This is cute on a baby. Not so much on a 50ish-year-old woman.)
2. It tickles when a strapping young man puts his lips on my belly and blows to make bubbling sounds. (Unfortunately, that hasn’t happened to me recently, and I don’t think it will any time soon unless I pay for the experience. But I do daydream about it sometimes.)
3. Food gives me gas.