Is that your final answer?

July 4, 2008 at 9:08 am Leave a comment

Happy July 4th!  Husband and I are spending the day preparing dinner (and the house) for 11 guests.

When it comes to spouses, there are right answers and there are wrong answers.  An event this morning is a prime example of that.  We started the smoker, and I brought out the chicken, which had been marinating all night. 

Now, I have to explain that in 21 years, I have done all of the smoking.  Today, however, husband decides to light the charcoal (using different starter than I do), and he lights it in the pan on the ground (instead of having the pan already in the smoker, like I do).  Then he adds the pan of water and starts putting the chicken on the grill (differently than I would).  Of course, I politely tell him at each step that it’s not the way I would do it.

“Sooooo, are you going to be responsible for smoking the chicken today?” I finally ask. 

Here’s where the right and wrong answer part comes in.  Which of the following would have been the correct answer?

(A) No, I’m just helping you get it started.

(B) Yes, I will take care of it because I know you are busy getting everything else done, and I will take full responsibility when my family gets sick from undercooking 30+ pieces of chicken because I didn’t ask you how long to cook it and just assumed that it wouldn’t take very long.

(C) Yes, but only if you give me step-by-step instructions throughout the day.

Now, it might appear at first that A is the correct answer.  But HELLO!!!  I’ve been smoking chicken for 21 years, and I don’t need any help!  ESPECIALLY if you aren’t going to do it MY way.  It might also seem that B is the correct answer because it would be right–up to the point that the family pours into the emergency room puking and pooping. Then he’d blame it on me.

The correct answer, of course, is C.  Many husbands know this already.  Some learned it within a few months of hauling around the ball and chain, but others took years to figure it out.  Some never do.  After 21 years, I’ve given up the hope that he is going to “get it.”  He’s a wonderful husband and I love him dearly (except when he makes me operate the tractor), but I’ve had to accept that he will never be obedient. 

Oh, wait.  I think it’s the wife who is supposed to love, honor, and obey.  Never mind.  🙂

Husband is on the right, but I am USUALLY right

Husband is on the right, but I am USUALLY right

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Entry filed under: Men.

Goldilocks, he ain’t Morton Salt theory

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