Happy (?) New Year

January 1, 2009 at 9:01 am Leave a comment

I haven’t yet decided whether I’m happy about starting another year. 

Husband told me he heard that some people believe if you take your Christmas tree down before the new year, you won’t carry your bad luck over into 2009.  Other people believe that if you take your tree down after the new year, you will carry your good luck over into the new year.

I don’t believe in “bad luck” or “good luck” but I covered my arse.  I took down the tree and the decorations on December 31, but the storage containers are strewn all over the living room and hallway waiting to be precariously stacked in the closet. Spreading the task over two days wasn’t necessary intentional.  It was only because the dismantling and packing was a bigger job than I expected, and I pooped out before I finished.     🙄

maxine_resolutions

We were very blessed in 2008.  We finally got our pond (after several years of waiting), husband bought a new tractor, we have a nice home that we love, and we both have good jobs.

On the other hand, Mom died in 2008.  I expected Christmas to be sad, and it was—but in a sweet way.  However, I was unprepared for the emotions yesterday and today about the new year.  While it’s “just another day,” moving into the new year somehow seems like moving on, and I do so with such a heavy heart.  Part of me doesn’t want to move on…I want to move backwards to a time when Mom was still here.  I want to linger at her dining room table and share just one more cup of coffee.  I want to call her at bedtime and talk about everything—and about nothing.  I want to hug her tiny body and lean over to plant a kiss on her forehead.

I’ve cried more in the last 24 hours than I have in several weeks.  I’m not sure if the sadness and tears are because of her absence or if it’s because of hormones. Maybe it’s a little of both. It remains to be seen whether 2009 will be “happy” or not.  I suspect there will be good days and bad days—and more of these damn mood swings and tender breasts.  😉

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Entry filed under: Menopause ALERT, Sometimes life sucks....

Go ahead…make stuff up… Upside down, inside out

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