A menopausal woman’s letter to God

January 4, 2009 at 6:03 pm 2 comments

Dear God,

I think I may have been a little vague in my prayers lately, and I need to clarify a few things. 

When I asked for a “peaches-n-cream” complexion, I didn’t mean “fuzzy like a peach” and “the color of cream.”  I meant smooth like cream and the color of a peach.  Is it too late to do anything about that?

Awhile back, I prayed about global warming.  I had no idea you would start fixing the problem by having me turn my thermostat down—WAY down—to the point where my guests have to wear hats and mittens. This doesn’t bother me during the winter, but do you think you could find an alternate solution to global warming before summer?  It gets very HOT in Oklahoma in July and August, and I can’t afford a trip to the Arctic. 

When I said I wanted to be a more tender person, I was hoping you would make me more compassionate toward others.  Instead, my breasts are tender (very tender!).  I’m sure if you could fix that, I would be a lot nicer to everyone. 

Finally, there is that nasty surprise each month… Perhaps the fact that I continually have to buy Fruit of the Loom undies is keeping people in China employed.  Or perhaps it is keeping the factory open where they manufacture Spray ‘N Wash. I want to do my part, but perhaps I could have been more specific when I asked you what I could to to help with the economy.

Please consider re-evaluating my requests, and I’ll try to be patient with your “blessings” until then.

Rita  🙂

Advertisements

Entry filed under: Aging gracefully, Menopause ALERT, Random.

Bill Gates made me do it Arnold whats-his-name

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Cheri  |  January 4, 2009 at 8:39 pm

    Right there with you sister!

    Reply
  • 2. okwriter2  |  January 5, 2009 at 10:24 am

    Stinks, doesn’t it, Cheri? 😉

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed


Blog Stats

  • 28,133 hits

Time Flies

January 2009
S M T W T F S
« Dec   Feb »
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031

Old is Good (Archives)


%d bloggers like this: