A time to kill

February 22, 2010 at 10:05 am 2 comments

I wonder if menopause is a plausible defense for murder.  In the last three weeks, the Period Fairy has been here twice.  I’m tired and my body hurts. (I’ll spare you the details about which body parts.  You women already know, and you men can’t even imagine!) The Period Fairy has worn out her welcome at my house, and I’ve had ENOUGH!  I’m ready to kill the little winged wench.  😡

Maybe I’ll get lucky and the “jury of my peers” will truly be comprised of my peers—women over 50 who know what I’m going through. And maybe I could arrange for a mature female judge…maybe not quite as old and cranky as Judge Judy, but one who “gets” why I did it. 

Either way, if you see my name in the headlines with a photo of me stepping over a dead fairy as I’m being escorted in handcuffs from a blood crime scene, you’ll know what happened.  And please respond prompty to any notices that you’ve been selected for jury duty.  🙄

 

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Entry filed under: Acting Mature. Or not., Aging gracefully, Menopause ALERT.

3 reasons to go One out of three aint bad!

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Ann Solinski  |  February 22, 2010 at 5:19 pm

    Oh, heavens! What shall we do with Rita?

    A dozen or so years ago I used to see the shows (Oprah!, etc.) about all the woman going crazy going through menopause. And they had these long-time husbands who adored them before they turned into crazed beasts. Still re-single at the time, I kept thinking, “Holy cow! How am I gonna find someone who can stand me ‘normally’ and then go through that?!” Fate stepped in and I wound up having surgery in 2000—menopause in a day, so I think I got off lucky.

    Please know you can always count on me as a character witness!

    Reply
  • 2. Rita  |  February 22, 2010 at 6:38 pm

    Ann,
    You should know jurors aren’t allowed to testify…
    🙄

    Reply

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