Middle-age DIVA

April 12, 2010 at 4:20 pm 4 comments

I am hardly what you’d call a diva (which, according to the dictionary, means someone who is temperamental and feels entitled to special treatment).  On the contrary, I am a low-maintenance loner who is quite easy to get along with. But I figured out this past weekend that there are certain things I’ve been okay about before that I will no longer tolerate.

Husband always takes a week in April and goes turkey hunting in southern Oklahoma for 10 days. “Camp” is a rustic cabin he and his friend built in the midst of several hundred acres. They have it fixed up nicely—and it beats the heck out of tent—but it is what it is: a cabin. No running water. No electricity. Just a small kitchen/dining room, a bedroom with two sets of bunk beds, and a shower they have rigged up.

The first Saturday night of camp, the guys invite their families out and serve them a great meal. Boiled shrimp, armadillo eggs, grilled steaks, baked potatoes, and baked onions. A few of the ladies bring cakes and pies. Dinner this past weekend was nice, but what followed was anything but…

Sorry if this is TMI, but the period fairy had come to see me. And the “bathroom” at camp is an outdoor toilet with three walls that’s about 100 steps from the cabin. Not a bad trek in the daylight if they’ve cleaned the spiders off the toilet seat, but I refuse to go there in the dark. So we settled into bed after dinner Saturday night, and I woke up at midnight with a hot flash. That wouldn’t have been so bad but it was pitch dark in the cabin (unlike moonlit nights, when the skylight serves as a big night light), and I needed to use the bathroom.

I’ve never had a panic attack, but between the hot flash and the darkness, I suddenly I felt like I couldn’t breath. I managed to find a flashlight and made my way to my car.  After “squatting” next to it, I climbed inside. Lordy, those cool leather seats felt like heaven on my skin! I wasn’t about to go back inside, so I spent the next four hours climbing from the front seat to the back, alternating between stretched out and curled into a fetal position—trying desperately to sleep.

By 4:00 a.m., I was shivering and finally retreated to the cabin. I slept until 5:30, when their alarms starting going off and they got up to have breakfast and go hunting. Within 10 minutes of them leaving the cabin, my stuff was loaded and I headed for home.  I stopped at the casino when I got an hour from home—strictly to use the bathroom, you understand. Yes, I was there for about two hours…but it was only because I knew I’d need to pee again eventually.

Bottom line is that I am not cut out for “roughing it” any more. Next year, my first stop will be at the closest hotel to check into a room.  THEN I’ll go eat dinner at the cabin, knowing I can leave and go to a climate controlled room that has indoor plumbing.

If that makes me a diva, so be it. I’m never peeing in the dark in the bushes again!


Entry filed under: Random.

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4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. MaryAnn  |  April 12, 2010 at 4:45 pm

    If not wanting to pee outside in the dark makes you a diva then I guess I’m one too. I don’t even want to use an outhouse in the daylight. lol

    I’d be in the motel with you!!!!

  • 2. Karen  |  April 12, 2010 at 5:34 pm

    I still love the cabin and always will…it’s so rustic and hidden, I love that! But…there is something to be said for indoor plumbing.

  • 3. Rita  |  April 12, 2010 at 7:30 pm

    Mary Ann: I’ll just get a block of room! 🙂

    Karen: This was a miserable year. Love the fishing, but no more overnight trips for me. Wanna go next year?

    • 4. Karen  |  April 20, 2010 at 10:50 am

      Yes for sure….but we’ll get a hotel room to go back to after we gets our bellies full!


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