FAT in 3 languages

March 23, 2011 at 9:50 am 4 comments

I have mirrors.  I have a scale.  I have clothes that keep “shrinking.”  So it’s not like I need yet one more reminder that my middle-age spread continues to spread. But I got that reminder over the weekend when I made my annual “panty buying” trek to WalMart.

For years, I didn’t even wear panties. Gross, I know. But I was young and stupid and evidently gross. But then in my late 20s, someone turned me on to white cotton “granny” panties.  (They didn’t turn ME on, but they turned HIM on, so I wore them and continue to do so today…even though HE is long gone.)

Some people obsess over panties—to the point that they match their panties to their outfit, and they only buy designer brands at certain stores. I’ve seen some of those string things they pay lots of money for. But that’s just not me… I consider them utilitarian: something that needs to function well but nothing more.

So this year, I decided to UPSIZE my cheap Fruit of the Loom undies from a size 7 to a size 8.  The top right corner of the package reads:

X-LARGE

E-GRANDE

T-GRAND

Now, I’m not bilingual, but I’m smart enough to know what the tag means. It was bad enough having to upsize, but do I really need to be reminded in 3 languages that I’m FAT?  😦

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Entry filed under: Random.

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4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Pj  |  March 23, 2011 at 3:30 pm

    Normally you have scads of replies! Guess now one wants to “weigh in” on this subject! So, Ok, I’ll jump in! I can’t decide if it is winter weight or good ole country life that has caused the blossom of the ‘Longhorn Lolitas’! (FYI address!) I was quite sure the scale was broken, so I sold it in the garage sale! The full length mirror looked like one from the carnival (I was sure it had a defect) so I sold it too! Started wearing sweatpants cause the jeans shrunk! I sure am glad I don’t need need new panties because I am doing great next door!

    Reply
  • 2. Rita  |  March 23, 2011 at 3:44 pm

    *weigh in* HA!HA! You made me laugh, PJ! And now our little sis has rejoined the Fat Girls Club. Since we have all blossomed at the same time, it must be a genetic thing. 🙂

    Yes, for those who don’t know…we live on Longhorn Trail, thus the Longhorn Lolitas nickname! Although I think there may have been some adult beverages involved when we came up with that term…

    Reply
  • 3. Kathy Mohne  |  March 23, 2011 at 8:06 pm

    Rita…….This is hilarious……was he a perve or something…the guy back in your 20’s? I don’t own any scales, nor do I have a full length mirror. And yes, all my clothes fit tighter than they used to. I just think we are voluptuous!:)

    Reply
  • 4. Rita  |  March 24, 2011 at 6:11 am

    Kathy, I like that word: voluptuous! 🙂
    No, he wasn’t a perv. On the contrary, he was—okay, wait! I can’t go there!

    Reply

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